King James and the Art of the Ten Dollar Tip
Let’s just call this getting what you deserve:
Cleveland– We are all witnesses. But not everything about the LeBron is worth witnessing. Sure, he has the $400,000 car, Jay-Z in his corner, and Phil Knight wrapped around his diamond pinkie ring. But witness how His Greatness treats the little people, and you may begin to see the virtue of Brendan Haywood’s hard fouls… One of LeBron’s favorite places to dine is XO Prime Steaks on West Sixth… According to a Punch source, a peer recently quit after tiring of LeBron going Scrooge McDuck on his ass… On this special occasion, the King decides to dine late. He keeps his group there until around 3:45 a.m. During this time the waiter obsequiously pours drinks and fetches anything else His Greatness needs. The final bill comes to $800. By the feudal laws of decorum, which stipulate that the affluent should administer a 20 percent gratuity, staffers figured they’d be pocketing an extra $160. But when they fetched the autographed bill after His Heinousness bolted back to Akron, their expectation turned to disbelief, then anger. LeBron stiffed them with a meager $10 tip. This is what French nobles like to call your requisite Bourgeois Bitch-Slap. The waiter wouldn’t even take it, tired of being shat on by guys like LeBron. Still, at least the self-proclaimed King of Ohio didn’t pull a Bernie Kosar — who gets sloshed at the bar and then has to remind the waiters of who he is before he stiffs them.
———–
The Secret: Spend $800, leave $10 tip
BarstoolSports.com writes: The Celtics-Cavs series finally has what every playoff series needs to be considered great: a villain. The Atlanta series had Mike Bibby calling Celts’ fans “fair weather,” Joe Johnson’s 30 foot mortar shells and Marvin Williams acting like Roy Williams with his horse collar on Rajon Rondo. But none of those will rile up a fan base more than a bazillionaire who’s a lousy tipper. LeBron could sell crack to school kids to finance a dog fighting ring for Al Qaeda and we wouldn’t hate him more than would knowing he’s got deep pockets and short arms when it comes to tipping working stiffs.
Leave a Reply